Those of you who know me personally, know that I thought I had deleted my blog update from about a week and bit ago. I didn’t have a chance to re-write it, so I thought I’d do an update after the concert. When I to write my blog tonight, I discovered it was still here. I have not changed it, except for editing a few typos. In light of recent events, I’m posting it because it contrasts what happened next.
Here we are one week out from my goal date of June 24, that special anniversary date by when that I hope to meet Michael Bublé. I should be looking forward to the big day, things should be “happening”, right? Nope! I have hit a wall. And the wall reads: “Michael is not doing any meet and greets this tour.” It’s not just me receiving this answer, so far all media and other leads that I’ve spoken to have received the same answer.
I admit it, I’m am a bit bummed out. I have cried. I have gotten angry. I have worried about failing. Yes, I know what I’ve posted in my previous blog. I have had many successes along the way and I am grateful for them. But that does not mean I never have a moment or two of weakness where I freak out and contemplate giving up. Or times when I fear I will look a fool to everyone if I do not actually meet Mr. B. I suspect we all have these moments. The trick is not to let them get you down (and they have before, but not this time!).
In a recent moment of weakness, while I was expressing my frustration and letting the tears fly, my husband suggested that maybe I should focus on meeting Michael at another time. Obviously, Michael is simply not available to anyone. It seems like a reasonable option, but it is not for me. Why would I come so far and put forth so much effort to quit trying a week before June 24? I cannot imagine giving up now.
First off, if I stop believing and trying, then surely it cannot happen. I am the catalyst for this project and no one else. It is up to me. That’s a scary thing; it being up to me and only me. It is totally my decision whether I push on or give up. I know I must keep going something will click. I’ll reach Michael or someone close to him who will help, it things will happen. I have to believe.
As I was feeling my faith lagging, I happened to read a Tweet from Mastin Kipp @TheDailyLove: “‘Be open… Lightning could strike…’ – Meet Joe Black #TDL”. This quotation struck me for a few reasons. It felt like it was what I needed to hear: If I’m open to the possibility, things could happen. Lightning is quick, powerful, and strikes a small target. It’s an interesting image to consider in relation to my goal. Lastly, I happened to watch the movie, Meet Joe Black, while I was pregnant with Jacob. It was a really comforting coincidence. I love it when things like that happen when things happen at just the right time.
I have also been pondering why I keep going? Why am I putting out so much effort? Is meeting a person, no matter who they are, really worth all this time, energy and exposure? I keep coming back to yes. I value the connection that I had with my son before he died so much that I will do what I have to do to be able to meet Michael and thank him in person. It matters to me, to my heart and it helps me honour my love for my son.
But what to do? I remind myself, “You have to do to get done”. I told you it is on a loop in my brain in a previous post; I wasn’t kidding! I’m sure I’ll come up with something or something will happen. I’ve put things out there, perhaps it’s time to “bless and release”. Maybe I should relax a bit and allow the chips fall where they may. Or maybe I should send one more message, write one more blog post, tweet one more time. Put one foot in front of the other until I’m at the concert and Mr. B has left town on June 25. We shall see what comes of all this very, very soon.
Originally published on www.meetingmichaelbuble.com